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[13 Mar 2009|02:40pm] |
Watching my words and not speaking my mind destroyed the last.
Speaking my mind and letting the words flow destroys this now.
I hate this.
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| Its been a long time. |
[12 Mar 2009|09:34am] |
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mood |
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 Stuffy |
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music |
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I Can't Help Myself - Four Tops |
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I apparently haven't written in Livejournal in 41 weeks, though I read it everyday to read everyones post I rarely respond. I have just distanced myself from everyone slowly.
Ryan came down from Mississippi and stayed with me for about 2 months. I missed having him around, a best buddy. Tho are relationship might be quite strange for friends it works very well for us. Tho I don't like the fact he left I know he is on a journey to find something and I hope he finds whatever that is.
Last night my buddy Kevin came over, I see him very rarely now as he is up at UF for school. I had a chance to look at myself and see how much I have changed. The hours spent on anime and video games that I can't find time for anymore. Tho I do game now and then its a fraction of what I use to play. I just wish I had more time in a day to do all these things, but the hours just fly away.
I wish I had more time. There is so much I want to do with my life but I lack the energy, time and focus to do it. Between work and school by the time I am free to do something all I want to do is sleep and if I don't want to sleep I can't focus on one thing to do as my mind is everywhere thinking about everything I want to do. I hate it, it makes me so unproductive. I want to write again, but every time I get an idea I lose focus so fast. I want to make a website, but can't focus on what it would be for. I want to get a group together and start playing some board games, I want to learn new games and challenge myself. A poker night would also be awesome, I can remember the nights at Kevin and the random games we would play. I have pile of books wanting to be read. I want to get back in shape, go back to karate, go back to sparring. The list just goes on. I want to challenge myself physically and mentally, both against myself and fellow man. I want to better myself, become stronger, smarter do things I didn't think I could do.
So in other news I am back at school, started back up last semester and retook English 1102 with this crazy teacher. I already finished my Macro class this semester and am just left with speech. I am going to try and speed though as much of this work as I can. Plan is to head over to FAU and get a BA in Management Information Technology.
I think this year is going to be tough and long, but I see things getting better next year.
Well I should end this rant and get back to work. Maybe I'll post more often who knows.
Those with the freedom of time, don't waste it.
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| list.doc |
[23 May 2008|08:27pm] |
Soapbox derby
Chocolate
Girls
Fighting
George Carlin
Final goodbyes
Clitoris
Yoshi
Cars
Hate
Hair
John Lennon
What I just posted is a random word doc I found on my laptop as I was cleaning it up. I dunno why this list was ever made or what the hell it even means. I think it has something random to do with something Angela and I once did, who the hell knows.
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| The little kid who won. |
[19 Apr 2008|09:49pm] |
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So tonight we had passover dinner with a bunch of family over and this little kid about 6 or 7 who is like my 7th cousin or something came over to me sayings "Your a sexy hairy beast." Nikki turned to me and said "Did you pay him to say that?" I just laughed my ass off as I told her no.
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| My little pup |
[06 Mar 2008|10:30am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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Something playing on my co-workers boombox |
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So I adopted a puppy for my girlfriend her name is Freya, Picture is the cut.
( My puppy )
So I have been watching a lot of movies lately. Mostly zombie movies but hey, they are just awesome. Ryan and I are such zombie freaks. Actually thinking of becoming a member of Zombie Squad. I've been reading and watching a ton of Zombie stuff, if anyone has any recommendations on some good Zombie stuff let me know.
Besides that not much else has happen in my world. Ryan moved up to Mississippi, I've been working like normal trying to figure out what I am gonna do with life... Still kinda clueless tho.
When Hell is full, the dead will walk the earth.
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[27 Dec 2007|01:34am] |
I rarely post on this thing anymore. Tho my life has been quite busy the last month to write anything down. Tho I don't have too much to write. I hope everyone had a good Holiday, I'm currently at my grandparent's in Massena, NY which is like a walk away from Canada... Which I just found out that their dollar is worth more then ours now which is kinda sad. I leave back for my dad's house in about 12 hours. Its a 7 hour car ride... Then I am back in Florida on Saturday which should be fun. Thinking about it I haven't had a vacation from work since like... February which is when I spent a weekend up here surprising my father for his birthday. So its nice to take a breather from it all.
Actually getting a bit sleeping so I think I'll close off this random post.
Happy Holidays.
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| o_o |
[25 Nov 2007|10:00pm] |
i know that it is Sunday but it doesn't feel like it. I feel like I haven't been to work for almost a week. Tho I guess thats what happens when you spend each night out till about 6am. No complaint tho I had fun every minute.
I got my necklace in yesterday I really like it.
I should pass out... I want to start getting back into my combat class, which requires me staying awake after work.
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| A night of nights. |
[24 Nov 2007|01:41pm] |
I have to think Ryan is the only person where we can jump in the car and just go exploring and find some random fun thing you never done before in your life. We ended up in the middle of damn no where. Somewhere off of 130 south of 595 exploring dirt rodes, waiting for some zombies to come out... Well we hope they would. We ended up at these two house just being built parked and explored them at like 3am in the rain. They where some nice big houses too. The workers will probably be a little confused when they see a shit load of muddy footprints everywhere.
It was a fun night, zombies need to take over.
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| Revamp |
[23 Nov 2007|03:10pm] |
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music |
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Office Chatter |
] |
I re-did the LJ, was getting bored of Alucard. So I went with good old Captain America.
At work... bored... no one in the office really and I am just running some restores of some files which takes forever...
Can't wait for some laser quest. It should be fun.
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| What if... |
[20 Nov 2007|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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If I were to die, what would you remember me by?
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| Grandparents. |
[20 Nov 2007|12:13am] |
My grandparents came into town tonight and my Grandmother is already making me go crazy...
They are here for a week... I wish it was less.
I wanna play laser quest... I really am unsure why.
I should get some rest, I've been awake since 4am =x
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| Off beat. |
[18 Nov 2007|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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I haven't stopped moving for the past week almost... And I think I'm about to crash. I have spent the last 7 days doing many things, work, go to a bar, laser quest(including a 7 hour lock in from 12-7am), a girl, and Broward County Fair.
And in the end, I had a lot of fun. I just think I need to get some rest in.
My grandparents come in tomorrow night. They are here for a week and then go off for a cruise. This week shouldn't be too bad, no work Thursday which is a nice plus and Friday is gonna be a joke.
My horoscopes is starting to creep me out. I normally read it for fun but the last week it has been dead on.
Well time to get some rest. Goodnight world.
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| My journal, my rants. |
[11 Nov 2007|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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Whatever my sister is blaring in her room. |
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So I use this journal randomly lately. For whatever pleases my moment. Most write about their days and what has been happening. Something I rarely do. I tend to post my works and thoughts on things. Tho I really do like Live journal for the ability to share with others your words. See how they understand them and react. Its not myspace (which I mostly use mine to see what people will comment on my pictures) where people fake a pose to impress other people. You don't have to choose a default picture for which the world will see you by or arrange 8 of your friends to be your "top" while others argue why they aren't there. Here are just words, and only the ones that you choose to speak. I believe thats a far better way to find out a person then reading a stupid 200 question survey of random bullshit.
Tho I find it sad when there are people who complain that you don't comment them. That you aren't their friend because you don't say "Oh you look so pretty." on their pictures. I mean what kind of world is it when you let a web page control your emotions.
With that I shall say, I still we be using these sites. They bring me amusement and enjoyment as they should. I will write words down as I feel, the lies, truths, bads and goods. Sometimes they will be straight forward, while other times they will be masked in other words. But in the end they are only thoughts of the moment. Just how this post is written and every other I have (besides actual works like stories). I have post from all different times probably confusing many on their meaning. Some seem straight forward but are really something else entirely.
This journal records my thought process, which can fully be understood by me. Which I like to keep recorded and public. I like the fact that someone can comment my though process, even if they are dead off. But please remember they are my words my brain randomly spurt into some type of message. So please don't take them so harsley, because we all think of some random things sometimes.
And btw my last post was really about how I have started to over come being self conscious and how I have been able to over come it and act myself without fear. Which I don't think any of you saw and took the post itself to seriously.
I shall now end my rant for the night, for I have a long week of work ahead.
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| Watcherman |
[05 Nov 2007|01:37pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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I've got a few things to say, some things you might know while others might come a surprise to you.
A lot of you probably think I am very open, well thats a lie. What I say out loud might be more then most people ever think of, but it really is nothing compared to the things I keep locked up. Its not because I don't trust anyone, its just who I am. Only a very few people have experienced who I truly am.
I like to keep myself hidden, ever since a child and I still do it this day. I'll hide behind a mask and shackle myself to keep myself hidden. Its only second nature and I really don't control it, but for some people I can remove them. With these few people, some I have known for years while some I have only meet a few times. I feel free, it is a feeling I sometimes thirst for. Its when I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks or what will happen if I do something uncalled for. I can just be me.
This freedom has been slowly showing its self since the end of high school. Tho I did not notice it, I thought it was just another mask I was wearing to blend into the crowd. But in the past year this force has broken out more. I found as long as one of the people I was with made me feel that way I could still be that way with other people. Which in turn let me feel that way with others too. I can only wonder if you all see me as the man I am behind all the masks and shackles. If you can't I hope you can one day meet him, but don't fret the masked man you once knew is still inside and still cares the same. There will just be a different way of expressing it.
Wings break free of bondage, allowing man to soar.
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| The Mind |
[20 Oct 2007|07:34pm] |
So I have been thinking about the mind lately. It's quite an amazing thing. What do you think the most amazing thing about it is?
I think it's ability to forgive/forget for some sort of happiness is the most fascinating thing. Its so strong it can defy logic and even your own personality.
So whats you?
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[18 Sep 2007|01:09am] |
I have the urge to stay up all night, but the tiredness to pass out in two seconds.
Why? I have no fucking clue.
Visit too New York makes me curse more, why I have no idea.
Party at my house Saturday night, come if you want. If you don't it won't be much of a party.
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[11 Sep 2007|11:37am] |
Here is an extremely long post... Sort of a rant/wtf i have been doing for the past 2 years... I don't even think i covered everything I wanted.... but I been doing this since last night !_!
( Core )
Other then that, I am heading to NY tomorrow till Sunday night so if you need me you'll have to contact me by phone. 9954)892-2287 for thoses who don't have it yet.
My birthday is in 11 days ^^ Party at my house.
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| Just stoping by |
[30 Jul 2007|02:21am] |
I haven't really kept this updated much. Not too much is happening in my own little world just living it day by day.
I should get back into writing but... I mist get some sleep for work first.
Goodnight world.
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| Confused |
[16 Jul 2007|02:04am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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I have felt many emotions in my life, depression, bliss, love, lust and many others... But I have never felt this one as strong as I have, I have never been this confused. I'm not even quite sure what I, myself want. Body and mind conflecting, having to keep myself bussy with little things to keep me under control.
I'll just have to wait for things to clear up I guess.
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